Exhaustion overloaded.

hi hi. this is my very first post for blogger. @ __ @
i remembered i used to have a blog but i don't remember the username and whatsoever.
so i decided to make a new one, where i share what i want to, normally will be my life or events that are memorable and arts :)

i sincerely love to draw figures and characters.

today i had my 3D animation demo reel... oh wait, it's 8/8 2:30am and i said 'today'. actually should be yesterday by now. stupid me. >__<

everyone's animation is very nice and smooth while for mine i feel like mine is completely crap. :(
my understanding of animation is just too shallow. D': i need more time :(

but oh well.... i've tried my best ;'[ and i'll do my best to revise everything this sembreak. same goes to my modelling. i am insecure lately, i've found that my technical skills is very bad indeed. while i am stronger traditionally and in non 3D stuff. i keep asking myself everynight before i go into sleep.

"...is this really for me?"

i questioned myself.

it is the MOST difficult question to me.

i can't seem to give an answer to this question.

i am more interested and more passionate when it comes to drawing and stuff. but when it comes to technical. i am very weak. i am struggling.

struggling so bad.

i must improve my technical skills this sembreak. and i really missed my figure classes and traditional painting classes so bad. this whole sem my sketch book is only used for 20% which is quite surprising... it's like the whole time you spend is on computer now. i miss the feeling of holding pencils and brushes.

like. really.

parents are here. keeps nagging me why am i going to bed so late.
all i do is group discussions and keep on drawing.
somemore i am heading down to singapore tomorrow. which
doesn't really make me happy, instead it makes me triple times the worry.
i still have quite alot of refinements to do and i am heading to singapore?

like... how am i suppose to be happy?
work to me right now, is the most priority thing in my life.

after joining TOA. i've found and learnt that.

"even one second saves you alot of time for doing assignments and helps fully manage your time well if you don't waste it."

another thing i've learnt that is,

"procrastination comes when you lose your interest and love for doing your work"

this is due to the 'sienz' and 'give up' attitude.

another big thing i've learnt in my life,

"why do you need to care for someone when they don't even want to give a care bout you."

this. i've learnt from quite some of the people around me.
thanks to them, i know to be wiser and not to be miserable.

and i also want to thanks to some people i used to mad or sad over them before for not thinking i am 'those' kind of people. while they understand my emotional problems. i really appreciate that and they still treat me as a friend while same goes to me. this is the most precious thing i've realize during my life in this semester.






i just want to say that, to people who asked me to leave them alone or pushed me away.
i'll go away. and won't bother you the rest of my life.

cause i can say that this is,

the only thing that hurts me the most. and it will never cure me.
my heart can't take it no matter how cheerful and optimistic i am.

and it's been a semester that i've stopped COOKINGGGGGGG.
this
is
UN-ACCEPT-ABLE---------------------------!

i think my skills for cooking went GG already ; _________ ;

semester break, so short yet so much wanna do.

so my classmate has alot of cool series i don't know about.
he was watching fallen skies in the lab and i tag along to watch as well.
it is mmm i have to say it is quite interesting. o - o
i somehow like it but i don't know why talking always makes me yawn  no matter how awesome
the movie or series is. D:

bad meow is bad.

and thanks to him i can start to watch and get to know more bout DC ^^

since today is the second last presentation~
me and my best friend jinyee went hardcore sketching when we're having sushi for dinner at
a restaurant called 'SUSHI FLASH'

this restaurant is my favourite restaurant.
it has the cheapest and most fresh sushi in the whole selangor.

and here are some of the drawings i've did ^_____^

this is for my friend in japan AIKU.

i've known her through　アメバ　ブロク.

which is a japanese blog. :) 

i've talk to her through messenger

and she seems to be pissing off at someone.

(sorry private~)

so i've decided to draw something for her :)

this is the sketch i did during dinner :)

 this is my self portrait after some stressful and tiring journey. :)

(yes. i am reading OP :D and mr.seal is beside me :) )

and yes i am chubby v ___ v

i guess there is nothing else i want to share for yesterday.
good night.  tomorrow is always a new starting and begining. :)

JL jiayou :)